please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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