I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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