his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
