The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
