People in love make me want to vomit
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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