Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
God I need to hump something, right now.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
