Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
