Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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