Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I cockslap morals
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
