please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
