some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
