I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
