I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
