I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
