Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
