I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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