why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
