I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
