There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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