What did we do last night that was yellow?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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