I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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