I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
