Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
