I think I can smell my own vagina right now
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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