tell your sister to shave her snatch
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
