I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
