found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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