Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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