i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
