Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
