Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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