Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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