Swine flu. Run for my life!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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