is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
