I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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