help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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