ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
