she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
