I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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