actually, I'm a sock model
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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