it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
