I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
