I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
