i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
