i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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