Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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