I looked at my own cervix.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
