Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I think a kid would responsible me up
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
