Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i think i have herpe
just one?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
