im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I love you. Go after that dick
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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