just tell him i said nine months
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
